Saturday, May 14, 2005

Older Women, Younger Men

I've never been a big fan of Andy, but I agree with him on this one:

Andy Rooney says,

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are
just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around
whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually
something more interesting.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40
give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you
at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if
you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can
get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best
friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. An older
woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she
knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an
older woman. They always know.

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true
of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than
her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy
gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's
lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her younger cousin
could never dream of.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you
are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder
where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed HOT woman
of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy 40+ relic in yellow pants making a fool
of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.